Well it's that time again...back to school! Thankfully no students this week, just teachers. I know a week for the teachers might seem like a lot but believe me, it didn't feel like enough! So many meetings and planning...there was barely enough time to get rooms ready! We had Open House on Thursday night so our rooms had to look presentable. Physically, it was an exhausting week...I am not ready to get up so early again and next week is even earlier!! Emotionally, it was a very up and down week. I want to have a better attitude this year!! I want to be excited about teaching again!! It's been rough though because I am teaching a new grade and though I am excited about having most of the same students again I know the working with the 5th grade team is going to be a challenge. I also like the fact that I didn't have to change rooms and move all of my stuff, but I know that though I love the people who I share a building with, it's going to be hard to be away from the rest of the 5th grade at times. I feel like I don't really fit anywhere...
I'm sure things will get better once school officially starts and I get back into the swing of things. It is going to be a tough year with changes that are being made and the need to bring up our test scores, but I do think there is a sense of excitement and hope among the staff that has been missing the last couple of years.
Anyway, gotta enjoy my last weekend of freedom before the craziness begins!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
A hunting I will go...part 3
I visited church number 3 today with a friend. The church has 2 campuses...I looked up service times online but obviously didn't pay careful enough attention to which campus I was looking at. My friend looked up directions and off we went. When we got there we realized that we matched the wrong campus with the service time I had found. Luckily we made it to the other campus quickly enough to not miss much. A bigger church than the rest...more like my old church. Friendlier than last week's. Overall not a bad experience, but I'm still not ready to call it home. The big question that I've wanted to ask at all of these churches is...where are all of the people my age?! I just want some people my age to hang out with...is that so much to ask?!
I have no idea where God is leading right now...I want to find a new community...somewhere to worship and serve but I don't want to just settle...
Guess next week will be church #4...
I have no idea where God is leading right now...I want to find a new community...somewhere to worship and serve but I don't want to just settle...
Guess next week will be church #4...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Favorite Quotes...
Well, I would love to share what I've been learning and encouragement that has been given but frankly it's been an up and down week. I've just been annoyed this week...I think more annoyed with myself than anything because I keep letting stupid things and people get to me! One of the worst feelings is caring for someone who just doesn't care about you! I just feel blah! I decided to share some of my favorite quotes instead...enjoy! :)
In church we talked about Him, we sang about Him, we read about Him, we gave testimonies about Him, we had emotional fits and shouted hallelujah--But what would we have done if God came right into the room and we all met Him face-to-face? It's one thing to feel the sunshine, but it's another thing to fall into the sun.
Faith without works is as useless as a screen door on a submarine!
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it'd be easy...they just promised it would be worth it.
Why place pictures along with wedding announcements? Who cares what they look like if they're not available!
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
This last one is from the book Crazy Love (read it if you haven't!)...this is definitely how I feel right now~
Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need you. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have your way with me.
In church we talked about Him, we sang about Him, we read about Him, we gave testimonies about Him, we had emotional fits and shouted hallelujah--But what would we have done if God came right into the room and we all met Him face-to-face? It's one thing to feel the sunshine, but it's another thing to fall into the sun.
Faith without works is as useless as a screen door on a submarine!
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it'd be easy...they just promised it would be worth it.
Why place pictures along with wedding announcements? Who cares what they look like if they're not available!
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
This last one is from the book Crazy Love (read it if you haven't!)...this is definitely how I feel right now~
Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need you. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have your way with me.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A hunting I will go...part 2
So I tried out another church today. There's not much to say. My roommate went with me because my friend who went last week couldn't make it. The people weren't as friendly as last week, no one came up and talked to us, but unfortunately I think that comes with the territory when it's a bigger church. I was surprised that they sang songs that I didn't know (that doesn't happen very often as I love to sing :) ) It wasn't as encouraging of an experience as last week but it wasn't a bad experience either. Again, not ready to call it home but we'll see what happens. Look for part 3 coming next week :)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Lord Reign In Me!
We sang this song at church on Sunday...I was so excited because I love this song and had almost forgotten about it! It's my heart's cry right now!
Over all the earth
You reign on high
Every mountain stream
Every sunset sky
But my one request
Lord my only aim
Is that You’d reign in me again
Over every thought
Over every word
May my life reflect
The beauty of my Lord
‘Cause you mean more to me
Than any earthly thing
So won’t You reign in me again
You reign on high
Every mountain stream
Every sunset sky
But my one request
Lord my only aim
Is that You’d reign in me again
- Lord reign in me
- Reign in Your power
- Over all my dreams
- In my darkest hour
- You are the Lord
- Of all I am
- So won’t You reign in me again
Over every thought
Over every word
May my life reflect
The beauty of my Lord
‘Cause you mean more to me
Than any earthly thing
So won’t You reign in me again
Sunday, August 2, 2009
A hunting I will go...
So today was the big day...time to start looking for a new church. I was not looking forward to the task. I hate the awkward, uncomfortable feeling of sitting in a church where I know no one, especially when the pastor asks you to stand and greet those around you. I knew that I had to go though because we are not meant to be alone as Christians and I need to find a new community to connect to in order to grow and serve. So the alarm sounded this morning and I knew it was time to start this new journey...
Thankfully I didn't have to go alone! One of my friends is in the same boat that I am so we joined forces and decided to attend a church together this morning. We picked a church that we had heard good things about and had wanted to check out. It was weird walking into a new place and not knowing what was going on...frankly it was weird to even be sitting in a service as I haven't done that in months because I was working with the children. Who was the first person other than the greeter at the door to talk to us? The head pastor himself! That's impressive! Three different people stood in front of the church and talked about (with tears in their eyes) how important it is to work with the children and invest in them now! Amen!! It was smaller and much different than our other church but it was nice.
Anyway, you don't need a play by play...overall it was a great experience. Am I ready to call it home? No but it was a much-needed, refreshing change for the day and an encouraging start to this "hunt" for a new church. We'll see what next week brings...
Thankfully I didn't have to go alone! One of my friends is in the same boat that I am so we joined forces and decided to attend a church together this morning. We picked a church that we had heard good things about and had wanted to check out. It was weird walking into a new place and not knowing what was going on...frankly it was weird to even be sitting in a service as I haven't done that in months because I was working with the children. Who was the first person other than the greeter at the door to talk to us? The head pastor himself! That's impressive! Three different people stood in front of the church and talked about (with tears in their eyes) how important it is to work with the children and invest in them now! Amen!! It was smaller and much different than our other church but it was nice.
Anyway, you don't need a play by play...overall it was a great experience. Am I ready to call it home? No but it was a much-needed, refreshing change for the day and an encouraging start to this "hunt" for a new church. We'll see what next week brings...
Friday, July 31, 2009
Abundant Life?
Today's verse...John 10:10 "I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly."
I know this verse and the promise therein is true because it's in the Bible! However, I definitely do not feel that I have been living the abundant life lately!
My college years? Had their ups and downs but awesome!
My years spent in Korea? Amazing! Was living life and loving it! I've never felt more secure in the fact that I was exactly where God wanted me and doing what He wanted me to do. Loved my job, was involved at church, and had fabulous friends to hang out and have a good time with! My years living in Florida? Bummer! There have been some good times, don't get me wrong, but the majority of my time here I have simply felt like I was just doing what I needed to do in order to get through each day. I don't feel like I've been living my life; I've simply been surviving.
When I moved here in November 06, I felt like it was the right decision; that God had opened the doors and I was following His plans. Since moving there have been many times that I've wondered if I was very wrong. I feel as though my life here has been nothing but challenge after challenge, disappointment after disappointment...in short, it has been tough! Now I know that God never promised that life would be easy, but seriously?!
My biggest struggles since moving here have revolved around my job and friends...or the lack thereof. My job has been a crazy roller coaster ride and I am not a fan of roller coasters!! My first year was tough especially coming in half way through the year, my class the second year was great but there was drama with my co-workers, and this last year things were better with the co-workers for the most part and my class wasn't terrible, but there was so much pressure to perform on the tests that I was burnt out before Christmas!! This next year? The jury is still out...I know that I need to go into this year with a new attitude. I need to get pumped up and excited! I have mostly the same students this year and I want them to see a difference! There are aspects that I am excited about and aspects that I am not but that is normal. I'm praying that God will give me a renewed joy for and love of my job! He didn't open any other doors for this year...though I looked, knocked, and even banged...so I do believe that He wants me at my school for at least another year for a reason.
My other major struggle has been my social life. Any of you reading this that knew me before moving to Florida know that I am a social person...I love people! I love getting to know people, hanging out with people...I get energy from being around people (the right kind anyway!) I've moved a lot in my life and making friends was thankfully not something I ever really struggled with...I am a friendly person and though I can be a bit shy at times (no laughing!), most of the time I have no problem starting up a conversation and making a new friend. Making friends here in Florida has been a constant struggle! It's not that I don't have any friends, because God has definitely brought some great people into my life and I am so thankful for each of them! It's just that... it's different, but I guess that's to be expected being in a new place and all. It's been hard to get used to, but I do know that God has used this time to teach me some much needed lessons and maybe He needed to remove me from the shelter of my friends in order to do so. I don't know what the reason is, but I know that God is in control and will bring the people into my life that I need at the time that I need them.
I'll admit I haven't had the best attitude about living here and that has probably caused me to miss out on some of the blessings that God wanted to bestow upon me. I want that to change this year (remember I think in school years)! I want to get back to living and loving life! I want the abundant life that is promised in the above verse! Hopefully you and I will both be able to see that happen as we continue on this tour...
p.s. It's funny how many times I went back and edited this post because God revealed things to me as I was writing it! He's so cool like that :)
I know this verse and the promise therein is true because it's in the Bible! However, I definitely do not feel that I have been living the abundant life lately!
My college years? Had their ups and downs but awesome!
My years spent in Korea? Amazing! Was living life and loving it! I've never felt more secure in the fact that I was exactly where God wanted me and doing what He wanted me to do. Loved my job, was involved at church, and had fabulous friends to hang out and have a good time with! My years living in Florida? Bummer! There have been some good times, don't get me wrong, but the majority of my time here I have simply felt like I was just doing what I needed to do in order to get through each day. I don't feel like I've been living my life; I've simply been surviving.
When I moved here in November 06, I felt like it was the right decision; that God had opened the doors and I was following His plans. Since moving there have been many times that I've wondered if I was very wrong. I feel as though my life here has been nothing but challenge after challenge, disappointment after disappointment...in short, it has been tough! Now I know that God never promised that life would be easy, but seriously?!
My biggest struggles since moving here have revolved around my job and friends...or the lack thereof. My job has been a crazy roller coaster ride and I am not a fan of roller coasters!! My first year was tough especially coming in half way through the year, my class the second year was great but there was drama with my co-workers, and this last year things were better with the co-workers for the most part and my class wasn't terrible, but there was so much pressure to perform on the tests that I was burnt out before Christmas!! This next year? The jury is still out...I know that I need to go into this year with a new attitude. I need to get pumped up and excited! I have mostly the same students this year and I want them to see a difference! There are aspects that I am excited about and aspects that I am not but that is normal. I'm praying that God will give me a renewed joy for and love of my job! He didn't open any other doors for this year...though I looked, knocked, and even banged...so I do believe that He wants me at my school for at least another year for a reason.
My other major struggle has been my social life. Any of you reading this that knew me before moving to Florida know that I am a social person...I love people! I love getting to know people, hanging out with people...I get energy from being around people (the right kind anyway!) I've moved a lot in my life and making friends was thankfully not something I ever really struggled with...I am a friendly person and though I can be a bit shy at times (no laughing!), most of the time I have no problem starting up a conversation and making a new friend. Making friends here in Florida has been a constant struggle! It's not that I don't have any friends, because God has definitely brought some great people into my life and I am so thankful for each of them! It's just that... it's different, but I guess that's to be expected being in a new place and all. It's been hard to get used to, but I do know that God has used this time to teach me some much needed lessons and maybe He needed to remove me from the shelter of my friends in order to do so. I don't know what the reason is, but I know that God is in control and will bring the people into my life that I need at the time that I need them.
I'll admit I haven't had the best attitude about living here and that has probably caused me to miss out on some of the blessings that God wanted to bestow upon me. I want that to change this year (remember I think in school years)! I want to get back to living and loving life! I want the abundant life that is promised in the above verse! Hopefully you and I will both be able to see that happen as we continue on this tour...
p.s. It's funny how many times I went back and edited this post because God revealed things to me as I was writing it! He's so cool like that :)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Becoming a Blogger...
I decided to give in and become a blogger! Life's not all that exciting right now, but I'm sure I can find some fun things to share :) I wish all of my friends had a blog so I could keep up with them though they probably don't have time to keep up with them and I don't know when I would read them all. If you have a blog, let me know!!
So...my title was inspired by one of my current faves songs - Behind the Scenes by Francesca Battistelli...
You may think, I'm just fine
How could anything, Ever be out of line?
I take my time, To set the stage
To make sure everything, Is all in place
Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words
Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes
Sometimes I can't see, Anything
Through the dark, Surrounding me
And at times I'm unsure, About the ground
Beneath my feet, If it's safe and sound
When it's hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me
You may think I'm just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?
Love that song!! Love so many of her songs!! They speak to exactly what I am going through!
What inspired me to start blogging?
I think it was a renewed sense of hope. Last Wednesday was one of the worst days of my life thus far (long story!) and I've been quite bummed since then. I was hurt and betrayed by people that I thought I could trust...it was very painful but I know that it had to happen for a reason! I have amazing friends who have lifted me up in prayer and provided much encouragement as well as listening ears but the hurt remained. The other day while writing in my journal I found this verse at the bottom of the page...Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" It was a total God thing! I definitely want to forget the former things and not dwell on the past, but it's hard to let it go and not be bitter or want revenge. This verse provided a new promise to cling to...that God is doing something new. I definitely need something new and am excited to see what God has in store!! Today I was reading and found this verse...Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Wow! I needed that!! God must be close to me because I am brokenhearted and He promises to save me! Now that's encouragement!! And it doesn't stop there...last night one of my fabulous friends suggested I read a couple of pages in Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge that spoke to what we are both going through. I read those pages and they were amazing. I then decided to start reading the book from the beginning...I've started reading it before but didn't get into it but tonight when I started reading it I was amazed. It speaks to exactly what I am going through. So much of it really resonated and hit the right spots! All of these things are telling me that God is with me and He's not giving up on me. I know that doesn't mean that things are suddenly going to get better and life's going to be all rainbows and butterflies, but it does mean that I'm not alone and that somehow, someway I will make it through this!!
So...my title was inspired by one of my current faves songs - Behind the Scenes by Francesca Battistelli...
You may think, I'm just fine
How could anything, Ever be out of line?
I take my time, To set the stage
To make sure everything, Is all in place
Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words
Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes
Sometimes I can't see, Anything
Through the dark, Surrounding me
And at times I'm unsure, About the ground
Beneath my feet, If it's safe and sound
When it's hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me
You may think I'm just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?
Love that song!! Love so many of her songs!! They speak to exactly what I am going through!
What inspired me to start blogging?
I think it was a renewed sense of hope. Last Wednesday was one of the worst days of my life thus far (long story!) and I've been quite bummed since then. I was hurt and betrayed by people that I thought I could trust...it was very painful but I know that it had to happen for a reason! I have amazing friends who have lifted me up in prayer and provided much encouragement as well as listening ears but the hurt remained. The other day while writing in my journal I found this verse at the bottom of the page...Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" It was a total God thing! I definitely want to forget the former things and not dwell on the past, but it's hard to let it go and not be bitter or want revenge. This verse provided a new promise to cling to...that God is doing something new. I definitely need something new and am excited to see what God has in store!! Today I was reading and found this verse...Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Wow! I needed that!! God must be close to me because I am brokenhearted and He promises to save me! Now that's encouragement!! And it doesn't stop there...last night one of my fabulous friends suggested I read a couple of pages in Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge that spoke to what we are both going through. I read those pages and they were amazing. I then decided to start reading the book from the beginning...I've started reading it before but didn't get into it but tonight when I started reading it I was amazed. It speaks to exactly what I am going through. So much of it really resonated and hit the right spots! All of these things are telling me that God is with me and He's not giving up on me. I know that doesn't mean that things are suddenly going to get better and life's going to be all rainbows and butterflies, but it does mean that I'm not alone and that somehow, someway I will make it through this!!
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