Abundant Life?

Today's verse...John 10:10 "I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly."

I know this verse and the promise therein is true because it's in the Bible! However, I definitely do not feel that I have been living the abundant life lately!
My college years? Had their ups and downs but awesome!
My years spent in Korea? Amazing! Was living life and loving it! I've never felt more secure in the fact that I was exactly where God wanted me and doing what He wanted me to do. Loved my job, was involved at church, and had fabulous friends to hang out and have a good time with! My years living in Florida? Bummer! There have been some good times, don't get me wrong, but the majority of my time here I have simply felt like I was just doing what I needed to do in order to get through each day. I don't feel like I've been living my life; I've simply been surviving.
When I moved here in November 06, I felt like it was the right decision; that God had opened the doors and I was following His plans. Since moving there have been many times that I've wondered if I was very wrong. I feel as though my life here has been nothing but challenge after challenge, disappointment after disappointment...in short, it has been tough! Now I know that God never promised that life would be easy, but seriously?!
My biggest struggles since moving here have revolved around my job and friends...or the lack thereof. My job has been a crazy roller coaster ride and I am not a fan of roller coasters!! My first year was tough especially coming in half way through the year, my class the second year was great but there was drama with my co-workers, and this last year things were better with the co-workers for the most part and my class wasn't terrible, but there was so much pressure to perform on the tests that I was burnt out before Christmas!! This next year? The jury is still out...I know that I need to go into this year with a new attitude. I need to get pumped up and excited! I have mostly the same students this year and I want them to see a difference! There are aspects that I am excited about and aspects that I am not but that is normal. I'm praying that God will give me a renewed joy for and love of my job! He didn't open any other doors for this year...though I looked, knocked, and even banged...so I do believe that He wants me at my school for at least another year for a reason.
My other major struggle has been my social life. Any of you reading this that knew me before moving to Florida know that I am a social person...I love people! I love getting to know people, hanging out with people...I get energy from being around people (the right kind anyway!) I've moved a lot in my life and making friends was thankfully not something I ever really struggled with...I am a friendly person and though I can be a bit shy at times (no laughing!), most of the time I have no problem starting up a conversation and making a new friend. Making friends here in Florida has been a constant struggle! It's not that I don't have any friends, because God has definitely brought some great people into my life and I am so thankful for each of them! It's just that... it's different, but I guess that's to be expected being in a new place and all. It's been hard to get used to, but I do know that God has used this time to teach me some much needed lessons and maybe He needed to remove me from the shelter of my friends in order to do so. I don't know what the reason is, but I know that God is in control and will bring the people into my life that I need at the time that I need them.
I'll admit I haven't had the best attitude about living here and that has probably caused me to miss out on some of the blessings that God wanted to bestow upon me. I want that to change this year (remember I think in school years)! I want to get back to living and loving life! I want the abundant life that is promised in the above verse! Hopefully you and I will both be able to see that happen as we continue on this tour...

p.s. It's funny how many times I went back and edited this post because God revealed things to me as I was writing it! He's so cool like that :)

Becoming a Blogger...

I decided to give in and become a blogger! Life's not all that exciting right now, but I'm sure I can find some fun things to share :) I wish all of my friends had a blog so I could keep up with them though they probably don't have time to keep up with them and I don't know when I would read them all. If you have a blog, let me know!!

So...my title was inspired by one of my current faves songs - Behind the Scenes by Francesca Battistelli...

You may think, I'm just fine
How could anything, Ever be out of line?

I take my time, To set the stage
To make sure everything, Is all in place

Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words

Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can't see, Anything
Through the dark, Surrounding me
And at times I'm unsure, About the ground
Beneath my feet, If it's safe and sound

When it's hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me

You may think I'm just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?

Love that song!! Love so many of her songs!! They speak to exactly what I am going through!

What inspired me to start blogging?
I think it was a renewed sense of hope. Last Wednesday was one of the worst days of my life thus far (long story!) and I've been quite bummed since then. I was hurt and betrayed by people that I thought I could trust...it was very painful but I know that it had to happen for a reason! I have amazing friends who have lifted me up in prayer and provided much encouragement as well as listening ears but the hurt remained. The other day while writing in my journal I found this verse at the bottom of the page...Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" It was a total God thing! I definitely want to forget the former things and not dwell on the past, but it's hard to let it go and not be bitter or want revenge. This verse provided a new promise to cling to...that God is doing something new. I definitely need something new and am excited to see what God has in store!! Today I was reading and found this verse...Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Wow! I needed that!! God must be close to me because I am brokenhearted and He promises to save me! Now that's encouragement!! And it doesn't stop there...last night one of my fabulous friends suggested I read a couple of pages in Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge that spoke to what we are both going through. I read those pages and they were amazing. I then decided to start reading the book from the beginning...I've started reading it before but didn't get into it but tonight when I started reading it I was amazed. It speaks to exactly what I am going through. So much of it really resonated and hit the right spots! All of these things are telling me that God is with me and He's not giving up on me. I know that doesn't mean that things are suddenly going to get better and life's going to be all rainbows and butterflies, but it does mean that I'm not alone and that somehow, someway I will make it through this!!